Sivacheee

Ah,the Sweet month of September..although it has nothing special to do in my life,or anything to do with this blog,September is mentioned here,since its the only month starting with an 'S'..as have most of the thoughts,that keep popping in my mind lately..

Let me see,

Saapaadu..
..yeah,tats obvious..since even Confucius says..He who cooks eats well,whilst the one who sucks, falls into a well,and goes to hell,banging his head against the london bell..

Scantily-clad Sexy South-Asian Sirens..
..since i attribute this partly to the serene surroundings in Seattle,and mostly to the last ten years of my horny life,I do not wish to discuss this..well,atleast rite now..

SIVAJI....
..yaaaaaaaaaaay,....thalaivaaaaaaaaaaaaar's next super-duper-hit.

...not a day passes by without my checking all the cine-ma-sala sites,for any hint of reliable news about SIVAJI,or its star-cast or story-line. I do agree that these are all irrelevant aspects which one need not bother with,especially since its confirmed that Rajini is acting in it. I am pretty sure,that even the STAR-banner animation that announces Super-Star to the accompaniment of 12-merry men chorussing Hey Hey..will see the movie through to its hundredth day.

But still,since I am a movie-fan along with being a Rajini fanatic,I keep wondering what ace could Shankar have-up his sleeves now. His previous efforts have led me to genuinely doubt his credibility as a creative-director,I have felt that his imagination has been stead-fastly decreasing,thrusting him into a vicious cirlce of boring repetitiveness,that he tries to unsuccessfully cover-up with unwanted grandeur.

SIVAJI is,by no means,an ordinary movie. The very mention of a Rajini-Shankar-AVM and quite possibly ARR combination,is electrifying and this should provide fodder enough for Shankar to come up with his best ever.

hee hee hee,but in case he needs some help...here are some (un)inspired (un)inspiring thoughts..

The Serious Version - SIVAJI - the Savior

Disclaimer/WARNING:This is not entirely my own thought. The source of (mis)information reportedly is Dina-Kiran,as was told to me by my brother-in-law,who is as fanatic about Thalaivar as I am. He gave me a brief and concise one-liner. The meaningless and unnecessary verbosity,as always,remains mine.

Each man's journey in life,is a quest for self-realization. Who he is,how he came to be,what was the purpose of his birth,life and death,is a question very few people try to seek out answers for.
If understanding the purpose of one person's life is in itself,a daunting task,imagine a man,who sets out on a journey,not to discover the reason of his own existence,but that of his SEVEN look-alikes in various parts of the world.

How he tracks each one of those seven men down,in a different continent in the world,and helps each of those seven men understand the meaning behind their lives,and ultimately,understands the purpose of his own life,is what the crux of SIVAJI - the Savior is all about.

The Satire Version - SIVAJI - the Shave-hair

Disclaimer/WARNING: Meant to be taken with liberal over-doses of sportive-humor,the following is purely a figment(al) of my imagination. You agree that by reading the following satire,you forfeit the right to send autos to my house,or viruses to my laptop.

The opening scene is set in a trendy-urbane mall,in the heart of chennai,Dumming-Kuppam. Various human-forms resembling their hirsute ancestors,wait anxiously for the small 8*8 shop to open,and then the camera zooms upwards to show a single board with the himalayas in the background..

SIVAJI Saloons

ingu mudi mattum alla,manidhanum thiruttapadum

Some wise-crack panjayaathu gumbal-goshti character smirks and remarks who Sivaji is..why is the entire city waiting for him to come and give them a hair-cut and where is he now ?

"Palaar"..our very own youth-star Koundar enters the scene,slapping and bad-mouthing the extra artist with his trade-mark drainage-vocabulary and ridiculing him for his barren-head;whilst making sure his own wig stays properly on his head.

He is cut-off by Nambiar,who says..that the day is a very special day..it is Sivaji's best friend,philosopher and mis-guide Sarath-babu's birth-day,and that SIVAJI has gone to Sarathbabu's palatial bungalow to give him a trendy hair-cut and will be along in just a while.

Meanwhile,Sarath Babu wakes up,and also adjusts his wig,getting ready to have it cut by SIVAJI,but is rudely told-off his mother Sri Vidhya,who in reality,is younger than him,that a low-class no-name mortal like SIVAJI should not enter their house,and not be friends with her princely-son.


"yaay,T****** M******,en thalaivana yaa thittra,vaadi vella,unna saavidakirean"..extra fittings from angry makkal in the theatre..

Sadly though,Sarath babu's desire to meet his friend is not fulfilled,as a small boy comes in and hands a sheet to him,and shows him the thalaivar-style salute,which actually looks more like flicking him..Sarath opens the note with trembling hands,and reads out the note..

"Katrina Chennai-kadal noakki vandhutu irukku..
naan poi oru kaatu kaatrina seriya poidum..
why fear,when SIVAJI is here"

Sarath smiles through misty-moist eyes..and starts to question his own sexuality...something that the tamil-naatu makkal have been doing for years..but Srividya hatches a villi-plan to kill Sivaji then and there. She puts a conference-call to other fallen-villis like Gandhimadhi,Vadivukarasi,Sorna-akka and they ask her to send out radharavi,anandraj, mansur ali khan and ponnambalam in a kutty kathie-kappal to finish off SIVAJI in the deep-waters of the ocean..

Shankar the director takes over here,and creates a totally unneccesary and ridiculously expensive(producer mottai) fight scene,with thalaivar battling it out against all the baddies and 200 Chinese mottai-chaamis and also 2 anacondas - all in the sea,underneath water..

Shankar to AVM: Sir,idhu maadhri fight tamil cinema la yevanum panniruka maatan..neenga engayo poiduveenga..
AVM: enga? pichakaarathanama roatukku thaane..ippo kai-katty nikaren,apporam kai-yendhi nippen
Shankar: Sir,illati pudhumaya indha fight-a naama vandhu 7 planets la vechi edupoma..nalaikku kelambinaa kooda 6 varushatula naama Mars poidalaam..angendhu Jupiterku oru jump..anga oru 32 varusham..angendhu Pluto-la oru auto song..
AVM: Ennoda Josiyar appove sonnar,enakku 7 1/2 naatu sani aarambichiduhcu nu..naan appo nambala..ahdellam venam ya..nee thanni kullaye indha pun*****,saari sandaiya mudi..


Finally,thalaivar emerges out of the water,successfully defeating the baddies,and tying all of them with one anaconda,and using the other anaconda to stir up a mini-twister in the water..that neutralizes the approaching Katrina...thus giving birth to the new kezha-mozhi of the millinium..

Thanniya Thanniyaala thaan Anaikka Mudiyum

may be continued....if i m still alive in the days to come..