My Had-Hair Day

It began nicely though..wakin up @ 8..after the damn alarm started screechin @ 7.15..i managed to miraculously get to the bus-stop at 9.10..only to be greeted by Austin Powers' Japanese Twins fantasy..multiplied 16 times over..
Yep...long live the Chinese-American Cute n Hot Sisters Sorority..who decided that all the hot gals in their house HAVE to take a sight-seeing trip in downtown seattle today (...mebbe they wanted to visit their ancestral place ??..)..and they all have to squeeze into the already crowded bus..giving one a oh-so-familiar feeling of travelling in a Pallavan bus..
I tried to strike a fine balance..quite literally..between trying to stay on both feet...and remaining cool..even though I was flushed with all the cuties.and their incessant chatter and laughter... eventually,I gave up..and sought out refuge under the over-head bars....and realized my first folly...
Suddenly,the giggles around me subsided...the gals..who were so petite..and toittth-looking..and who measured only upto my shoulders...started straining their necks in all directions..making a very bad impression of an oriental giraffe..and then I smelt it too...

REFORMED MAN ADVICE #1 : Never Ever Ever think that a no-name de-oderant from the Dollar store works as well as AXE..it doesn't...those cheap sticks don't stick..

That story ending on a sad stinky note,I managed to get thru the first part of the day...spacing-out..and trying not to appear stupid and clueless @ the team-meeting..then realized I had another 1 hour meeting scheduled rite after it..meaning I had no time for Tak-sum-boone..

While I was initially euphoric at the prospect of not havin to visit one of the million fiffillion chinese take-out joints..where the food makes your eyes shrink..and your nose flatten..and your mouth stink like snakes...the trade-off was..a head-splittin head-ache...

Sadly,I did not realize it then..and I attributed the head-ache to my over-grown unruly mop of hair..I decided I needed a cool and snazzy hair-cut..preferrably by a pimpee chinese babe...who would gently massage my hair..cooing lovingly into my ears..and admiring the super-cool me..
With this blissfull dream,I called up one place asking for an appointment..

"Hi,I am the supposedly super-cool Indian dude,I need a pimpee chinkee babe to give me a super-dooper hair cut and more!!!..Can I make an appointment ?"

"Aah,Eez Deez your faarst time here ?"

"Yeah"

"I emm sorry,vee dhoo naatt taikke yanee more noo kasthoomers..only dhaa voldd onezz,mai bee you cudh tary anadhar pleece..taan kooo.."


Quitters never win,and winners never quit...my evil consceince echoed in my brain..and I decided not to give up..I called up Super Cuts in the U-District..and it was answered by another Asian chick-atleast one person whose voice resembled that of an asian chick..who rather curtly told me there was no appointment system..you walk in,and get a cut..I was not one to start complainin..besides,I wanted to see what she looked like..thus began my journey to what i foresee to be eternal shame for a few more weeks..

Well,she turned out to be quite decent..which made me end up with a shampoo wash,even though I
a) had a head-ache, and
b) had showered only in the morning,which meant,my next one wasn't due for a few more days atleast..

As I sat on the seat dripping both from my head and my mouth,she asked me a stunner..
"What is your number ?"
As I was remarking to myself..that girls are more out-right and forward than I could ever be..she followed it up with..
"I think a 2 in the sides and 4 on top,right ?"..
A dejected me.."Yeah,I guess so.."

REFORMED MAN ADVICE #2 : Next time someone asks you this in super-cuts,stop them rite there..and ask them to count the numbers..4 doesn't always come after 3..in my case,i am guessing it comes somewhere between 0.05 and 0.08...

As the sacrifice was in progress,I could make out sudden flashes of skin..on what used to be my hairy head..but since my glasses were also looking at me..now i realize smiling at me....i dis-regarded it as a figment of my imagination..

Only after a while,I realized the disaster..though I tried to convince myself,I looked like Brad Pitt in the Project Mayhem Scenes in Fight Club..if seen in a different angle,that is with my eyes closed..I knew..I looked like a perfect-criss-cross of Napoleon Dynamite meets Sedhu..even the other girl at the counter..where I went to pay for the voluntary massacre,noticed it remarking..
"We have a sale on gels..not that you will be needing it for a couple more months hee hee hee"
"GRRRRRR..Do I HAVE to tip ?"
"Not unless you don't want to..."

Any attempts of trying to convince myself,that once I showered and shampooed,it would look better,were quashed,when even the small trickle of Head-n-Shoulders that I put on my head..slid rite away..there was no time..or hair..even to lather it in..:((

The final icing on the cake..I tried to wash down my sorrows with a strong cup of coffee..only to realize that sugar and salt..in similarly shaped small glass containers...can easily be mistaken one for the other..

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!