My Had-Hair Day

It began nicely though..wakin up @ 8..after the damn alarm started screechin @ 7.15..i managed to miraculously get to the bus-stop at 9.10..only to be greeted by Austin Powers' Japanese Twins fantasy..multiplied 16 times over..
Yep...long live the Chinese-American Cute n Hot Sisters Sorority..who decided that all the hot gals in their house HAVE to take a sight-seeing trip in downtown seattle today (...mebbe they wanted to visit their ancestral place ??..)..and they all have to squeeze into the already crowded bus..giving one a oh-so-familiar feeling of travelling in a Pallavan bus..
I tried to strike a fine balance..quite literally..between trying to stay on both feet...and remaining cool..even though I was flushed with all the cuties.and their incessant chatter and laughter... eventually,I gave up..and sought out refuge under the over-head bars....and realized my first folly...
Suddenly,the giggles around me subsided...the gals..who were so petite..and toittth-looking..and who measured only upto my shoulders...started straining their necks in all directions..making a very bad impression of an oriental giraffe..and then I smelt it too...

REFORMED MAN ADVICE #1 : Never Ever Ever think that a no-name de-oderant from the Dollar store works as well as AXE..it doesn't...those cheap sticks don't stick..

That story ending on a sad stinky note,I managed to get thru the first part of the day...spacing-out..and trying not to appear stupid and clueless @ the team-meeting..then realized I had another 1 hour meeting scheduled rite after it..meaning I had no time for Tak-sum-boone..

While I was initially euphoric at the prospect of not havin to visit one of the million fiffillion chinese take-out joints..where the food makes your eyes shrink..and your nose flatten..and your mouth stink like snakes...the trade-off was..a head-splittin head-ache...

Sadly,I did not realize it then..and I attributed the head-ache to my over-grown unruly mop of hair..I decided I needed a cool and snazzy hair-cut..preferrably by a pimpee chinese babe...who would gently massage my hair..cooing lovingly into my ears..and admiring the super-cool me..
With this blissfull dream,I called up one place asking for an appointment..

"Hi,I am the supposedly super-cool Indian dude,I need a pimpee chinkee babe to give me a super-dooper hair cut and more!!!..Can I make an appointment ?"

"Aah,Eez Deez your faarst time here ?"

"Yeah"

"I emm sorry,vee dhoo naatt taikke yanee more noo kasthoomers..only dhaa voldd onezz,mai bee you cudh tary anadhar pleece..taan kooo.."


Quitters never win,and winners never quit...my evil consceince echoed in my brain..and I decided not to give up..I called up Super Cuts in the U-District..and it was answered by another Asian chick-atleast one person whose voice resembled that of an asian chick..who rather curtly told me there was no appointment system..you walk in,and get a cut..I was not one to start complainin..besides,I wanted to see what she looked like..thus began my journey to what i foresee to be eternal shame for a few more weeks..

Well,she turned out to be quite decent..which made me end up with a shampoo wash,even though I
a) had a head-ache, and
b) had showered only in the morning,which meant,my next one wasn't due for a few more days atleast..

As I sat on the seat dripping both from my head and my mouth,she asked me a stunner..
"What is your number ?"
As I was remarking to myself..that girls are more out-right and forward than I could ever be..she followed it up with..
"I think a 2 in the sides and 4 on top,right ?"..
A dejected me.."Yeah,I guess so.."

REFORMED MAN ADVICE #2 : Next time someone asks you this in super-cuts,stop them rite there..and ask them to count the numbers..4 doesn't always come after 3..in my case,i am guessing it comes somewhere between 0.05 and 0.08...

As the sacrifice was in progress,I could make out sudden flashes of skin..on what used to be my hairy head..but since my glasses were also looking at me..now i realize smiling at me....i dis-regarded it as a figment of my imagination..

Only after a while,I realized the disaster..though I tried to convince myself,I looked like Brad Pitt in the Project Mayhem Scenes in Fight Club..if seen in a different angle,that is with my eyes closed..I knew..I looked like a perfect-criss-cross of Napoleon Dynamite meets Sedhu..even the other girl at the counter..where I went to pay for the voluntary massacre,noticed it remarking..
"We have a sale on gels..not that you will be needing it for a couple more months hee hee hee"
"GRRRRRR..Do I HAVE to tip ?"
"Not unless you don't want to..."

Any attempts of trying to convince myself,that once I showered and shampooed,it would look better,were quashed,when even the small trickle of Head-n-Shoulders that I put on my head..slid rite away..there was no time..or hair..even to lather it in..:((

The final icing on the cake..I tried to wash down my sorrows with a strong cup of coffee..only to realize that sugar and salt..in similarly shaped small glass containers...can easily be mistaken one for the other..

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gayathreeeeeeee..

Decided to blog a funny thing I noticed today..

I had to look up the gayathri mandhiram slogas online...no,not Om Bhoorbhusuvaha..I am not tat dumb..the other ones that preceed and follow it...

and thanx to the google auto-complete plugin,guess wat googled me..

Gayathri Joshi (Swades) returns more results (4120) than :

Gayathri Mantra(876) + Gayathri Mantram(349) + Gayathri Manthra(917) + Gayathri Manthram(257)
put together....

Mangalaana Mangal..

I dint like it..
Not withstanding the fact that i sat in the second row (from the screen) far to a corner, feelin as though i was peeping into my neighbour's bedroom to catch some late-nite action show (wink wink)..the movie IMHO was far less insipid and amateurishly directed than I would have expected an Aamir Khan movie to be...
I had a lot of expectations that were partly quashed even going into the Ram-theatre look-alike cinema in Seattle. One humble piece of advice,never harbor the notion that theatres in America are all good,some suck outrite,I swear I even saw stained liquid on the floor that resembled either vomit or a bizarre combination of coke n tea on the floor very near where I was sitting. The audio was pathetic,and the screen itself looked dull leading to a more than natural grained look for the movie. I solemnly swear that I miss Devi,Sathyam..hell,even Kasi like crazy...
Newayz,in an attempt to shun further digression,the movie itself was a tad tooooo realistic and uncinematic to suit my tastes. I mite be unfair in stating that I was expecting more from the demi-god actor-par-comparision who is sooo super-selective about his movies;that he even makes the directors narrate the title-credits of the trailer of some other movie that plays during the intermission of his movie;before actually signing on the dotted line. But once he comes on-board,he - to quote his exact words,"simply becomes that character by just thinking like him,gets into the same mind-set as the character hez supposed to portray".

But its the truth,I was obviously expecting fact here to be as interesting as fiction (lagaan).
Some thoughts about the movie - again IMHO,

• Aamir Khan's first rate potrayal,I never knew how Mangal Pandey looked like,now I can never imagine him otherwise..
  
• The splendid portrayal of the angry,helpless English middle-class royalty General by Tob Stephens who is torn between being a loyal servant of the Brits and a loyal friend to Mangal..
• The well-conceived and expertly-executed scene where Mangal Pandey boldly walks upto the cannon and blocks it;thus raising his first opposition against British oppression. Tis such a pity tat such scenes are far-n-dry n scarce in this movie..
  
• The totally lackodaisical bgm score of A.R.Rahman,this is from a die-hard ARR fanatic. And the songs were pathetically picturized and super-inappropriately placed - ZILCH EFFECT WATSOEVER. The songs sound sooo much better,when you just listen to them..
  
• The predictable cinematic characters including a bad-ass english general-villan philanderer, an all-knowing,yet shunned and stupid-considered cross-eyed untouchable sweeper..
• The tiringly incessant use of the word COMPANY - soo much tat at one point of time,i envisioned Ajay Devgan and Vivek Oberai to sashay across the screen,brandishing a gun and cell-phone..
  
• Many bold scenes including some startling(Rani,the other Naach gals) and then some unwanted(Kiron Kher) revelations;the splendid one-liner by the fan-man :-); who wants to cool the HOT(pun-intended) english dame..
  
• The brave concept of projecting the female-lead as a prostitute,who remorselessly remarks to her beloved that she spent the nite with another man..
• Amma sentiment or rather nursing-mother sentiment being haplessly twisted to suit one's creative license in this historical as well..
• Amisha's super-sensitive portrayal of a hapless,helpless woman - her scenes made for some unintended and well-deserved humor on-screen..
• The well-meaning tribute to Braveheart in the final scene of the movie - to me,that seemed like the only place where this movie compared to the Mel Gibson classic..

If the intention of the director - Ketan Mehta had been to make a starkingly realistic movie that was as true to the legendary folklore that spawned Mangal Pandey, then I would consider his cinematic liberties unnecessary and a tad irrelevant as well. Bhagath Singh was far far better.
But if he meant to make an interesting commercial flick ( I am sorry but the unnecessary songs that had border-line raunchy picturisation leads me to believe so)...then sorry mate,you should have tried better. or better yet,shunned the writer who wrote the disaster of a movie called Kisna..tat movie was soo bad,that i even deleted the blog that i wrote abt it..imagine,if it aint even worth being published on this blog..:-)

Final verdict - the title of this post..